Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Drop a DUECE




It is divisible by 2... A duece times 24... THE MARK 48- ok dum dums, I did the research for you, I even found the right TORPEDO to do the job- non-nuclear and totally navigable in that oily soup.

HEY HEY, the relief well is almost drilled! It is AHEAD OF SCHEDULE... Uh huh, guess what, it isn't going to work and we'll all be right back here scratching our heads and wondering what went wrong like a collection of morons.
TORPEDO THE HOLE.

Do it.

NOW.

(please?)

Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Hole Truth


http://www.dallascityhall.com/html/used_motor_oil_text.html

In Texas, citizens cannot 'dump' oil- it is illegal (check out the link). They can face fines and even CRIMINAL PROSECUTION.

But multi-national companies can dump all they want I guess.

Of course, since the Supreme Court decided that -companies are people- earlier this year (in a federal free speech/political campaign contribution case)- maybe they should be criminally prosecuted as well...

The Saddest 4 Minutes You'll See Today...

http://www.wimp.com/beachoil/



And the leak continues.

TORPEDO it!!!!!!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day




And all I want is for that hole to get torpedoed...

Check 'dis out-
http://www.wimp.com/simulatingbarrels/

Friday, June 18, 2010

As Seen From Space...




The Great Wall of China and the BP oil spill- the 2 man-made things that can be seen from space- WAY TO GO US!!!
(...it looks a little bit like a unicorn... do you see it???)

The oil is spreading, the 'cloud' can be seen from space, over a dozen species of wildlife will most likely perish from the face of the earth because of it.

Apart from job losses and economic impact and ecologic damage, there is a psychological impact. There is a societal ramification.

We simply cannot allow businesses to rule the world. They don't care about anything but profits.
People.
The Ocean.
Animals.
None of that means more than the almighty dollar to them.

How can we stand by and let companies run riot, free and un-checked, across out world?

BP shrugs its shoulders and tries to cap it, without damaging it, so they don't lose their investment.
It is their property, their mess, their responsibility... The provincial conventional, wisdom circulating is that since BP is the only company that 'employs' specialized oil spill experts (and the fact that THEY drilled the hole)... Well, they are going to have to be the ones to close it...

But this is a crisis of historical proportions.

The President is the COMMANDER IN CHIEF, theoretically, he could order a sub to target that hole and seal it.

It is simple.

I know we get mired in the complexity of this disaster.

But before we go about the hard-work of sorting it all out-
(how to clean it up, who was ultimately responsible, how to prevent it from happening again, and yes, even alternatives to fossil fuels)-

Let's stop the leak first.


TORPEDO THE HOLE!!!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

BP? more like BS....


Here's some more BLAH blah BLAH blah... Words, reasons, excuses, shit...

http://www.salon.com/news/louisiana_oil_spill/index.html?story=/news/feature/2010/06/15/gulf_oil_spill_new_agency_chief

Just fire a damn torpedo and seal that hole already.

Damn...

Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Russians Did It...


http://motherjones.com/blue-marble/2010/05/nuke-bomb-oil-spill-cleanup-crazy-russia-gulf-bp

So, this article link here documents how Russia has dealt with this EXACT SAME problem, more than once...
THEY NUKED THE HOLE, slagging it shut...

Did it take them 3 months?

Nope.

SEAL it



It is not a complex plan.
Now, I love me some Kevin Costner, but we gotta SEAL the hole before we focus on sucking up the mess...

Right?
.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Go Rouge



Why won't a military man GO RENEGADE and just 'jack' his sub and torpedo that hole?
What, would he face a court marshal?

Maybe.

Would he get dishonorably discharged?

Maybe.

Would he become an national (and international) HERO!?!?!?

Yes.
.

Poop-edo



I don't know what this means, but it makes me think of how sweet it would be to
.t.o.r.p.e.d.o.
that damn brown leaky hole in the sea.

Hey Pardner...



This says it all.

Wouldn't that nice leaky hole in the bottom of the ocean look better with a swanky old fashioned torpedo in it?

I reckon it would.
.

YO Joe! We Need a HERO!!!



TORPEDO, the aquatic member of the GI JOE team.
He was a real American hero.

Like Poseidon or Namor (marvel comics submariner)- TORPEDO would never let an unchecked oil gusher pollute 'his' ocean. He would have very proprietary feelings about it.
He would drive his GI JOE submarine right into that hole (ejecting at the last second).

W.W.T.D.???

Ask yourself people...
Ask yourself...

Greasy Birds...




Now, I have been known to condone the deep frying of a few avian creatures in my time, sure.
But I simply cannot condone the OIL coating of birds while they are still alive.
It is cruel and barbaric.
(...and don't give me that "ducks have naturally secreted oil all over their feathers" bullshit... it's totally different!!!)

Maybe we should just torpedo the hole?

What do you think?

What do you think that these birds think of that idea???

OILY birds...







Heart breaking images...
Torpedo the damn hole...

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Turtle Power!!!!


WKRG.com News

t-u-r-t-l-e POWER!

Heroes in a half shell.

Heroes in a DEAD shell.

TMNT
Truly More Notorious Tea
(TeXaS tea, that is, black gold...)

Do The DIRT Squirt BOOGIE!!!



Hey fans, yes, I know that there are NO FANS, but it makes me feel good to think that someone is reading this...
Deep in the dirt, the ocean dirt
there started a squirt, an oil squirt
the big mess led to a shirt, a funky-fresh shirt

Get one HERE....
now.

Friday, June 4, 2010

The British Are Coming..... up with ideas.....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/world/us_and_canada/10228666.stm

So, yes, I will admit it- I am not ANTI-BRIT, just anti mega-corps.
The British people have actually came up with some good ideas.
Of course-

TORPEDO THE HOLE is the best idea, ever...

Just listen to the testimony of this dude that I explained my idea to while we were both drinking beer and halfheartedly watching hockey in a sportsbar-

"Yeah, that seems like a pretty good idea."

Need I say more?

Big Punks - Brutal People




http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/world/us_and_canada/10233882.stm

Click on this link- Do WE (as Americans) actually care enough to boycott this company? I know I do. I will drive on fumes to get to a station that is not BP. I will pledge to pay .50 cents more per gallon to avoid BP stations. I will even agree to go without MONSTER energy drinks if the nearest place to get one is a BP station.
STOP STOPPING at BP stations.

TRANSLATE YOUR HATE into something worthwhile.

If you shake your head at the depressing images every night, how can you keep giving this company your money... What are you, as heartless as they are?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Torpedos Belong In Holes



Yes, it is a double-entendre- that is why it works- people can easily say and repeat and pass it on until the right person hears it enough times and pushes that little red LAUNCH button...

Speaking of LAUNCH, I had this for LUNCH.

I torpedo-ed my own hole.

...And it was delicious...

Who Loves Oil???



So, BP is asking for ideas, yet the one that makes the most sense they call 'crazy'... Is it? Is it really more crazy than trying a bunch of dumb stuff that has failed? Is it more crazy than letting this continue for another couple of months?

http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/03/times-readers-suggest-fixes-for-oil-spill/

The reason they think it's crazy is because it will work...
But then they'll have to re-drill instead of 'salvage' their already drilled hole.

It's crazy to put their company concerns over the concerns of the coastal communities that are being affected right now.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Spillage of my Brain Begins....

All of this junk about "what to do" in the gulf... Sheesh... Obama is the Commander in Chief- can't he just order the US NAVY to

TORPEDO THE HOLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?


Close that puppy up.
Seal it with a kiss.
A missile kiss.

This blog will all revolve around this idea and WHY IT IS BRILLIANT!